Holidays can be a difficult time for everyone. If we add the hardships of a break up of a relationship or a recent divorce into the mix, it can be an emotional nightmare to navigate. Remember the end of a relationship even if it was a bad relationship can be similar to a death. Sometimes people are just mourning the end of the relationship not necessarily the end of a relationship with a particular person. When everyone around you seems to be enjoying and basking in the holiday glow, and there is pressure to be joyous and grateful, grief can strike harder than usual. Here is how to survive the holiday season during a relationship breakup or divorce:

Take It One Day at a Time
Even though you might want to plan when it comes to the holidays, it is important to take those plans one day at a time. Break things down. You will not be able to adjust to your new life in a day, or a week, or even a month. It is perfectly natural to struggle with change, especially one so substantial such as the end of relationship or a divorce. Do not be too hard on yourself. Rely on your support system to carry you through the holiday season, and you will feel a lot better when it’s over.

Anticipate Problems
There might be divorce-related problems that will seem more aggravating by the holiday season, such as money or timesharing if there are children involved. If you have gone from two incomes to one, you might experience some financial difficulties, especially during Christmas time because of the pressure to buy gifts. Your family and friends are likely to be understanding if you cannot afford to go into debt to buy gifts.

Additionally, timesharing is something you will have to consider. If the children are with you during the holidays, think about the other parent in that situation. Consider letting the children call your ex-spouse or buy them a gift. Ultimately, it is in the child’s best interests to not feel like they have lost one of their parents with the divorce. It is never pleasant spending holidays alone, and it might be a good practice to treat your former spouse the way you would want to be treated.

Create an Agenda
Having a plan for all the activities and tasks you want to accomplish for the holiday season can be helpful. Do not put a lot of pressure on yourself. Try to let go of stress. Review what you want to accomplish and remove things that you really do not want to do. What is important? Time is one of the greatest gifts that you can give someone.

Make New Traditions
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of the holidays are the traditions you took part in as a family. After the breakup, the family unit doesn’t exist as it once did — but this gives you an opportunity to create new traditions with those that remain. Ask your children for input on what they would like to do for the holidays from now on and reassure them that the holidays can still be fun and heartwarming.

Replace Guilt with Taking Care of Yourself
Going through a divorce is challenging, so it’s imperative to take care of yourself. Try to avoid isolating yourself and spend some time with people you love. Let go of any guilt you may feel, whatever its cause may be. If you are feeling happy despite the circumstances, don’t fight it; if you’re feeling down, do something that improves your mood.

Holidays can make a problematic divorce worse, but they can also make it better. If you stay as positive as you can with the support of your extended family and friends, you can forge new traditions and pave the way to happier times.

Know your rights. To discuss divorce or other family law matters call 727-846-1802.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.

Alimony Deadline looming

Alimony No Longer Tax- Deductible: Looming Deadline

This article is of interest for those who are paying alimony or who may have to pay it soon. We know that laws change quickly and the deadline for the ability to deduct alimony payments from your taxes will end this December 31, 2018.

New Rules of the Game

The new rules are making it difficult for some spouses to settle their business before the deadline arrives. The spouse paying alimony will no longer be able to deduct this from their yearly taxes, but that’s not all. The party receiving maintenance will no longer have to pay taxes on the money collected.

Because the deadline is looming, hopefully you have started your divorce process earlier this year. If you have a pending divorce, you will want to get moving to finalize things before it is too late.

What Exactly is Alimony?

For those of you who will soon start paying alimony, let’s clarify exactly what it is and what it isn’t. Alimony is an amount of money paid to a spouse which ensures that the other spouse can maintain a standard of life similar to the one they held while being married. Eligibility for receiving alimony requires evaluation which takes into account many things. For example, the duration of the marriage, how each spouse contributed to the household, the status of life acquired during the marriage, etc. See Florida Statutes section 61.08. For a thorough discussion of alimony issues schedule a consultation with an experienced attorney to discuss all the factors that determine alimony.

One Big Pay Out of Lump Sum

For those who can pay one large sum of money instead of yearly alimony payments, it could be a better option. It becomes an option for the alimony payer if they have Access to the cash. But it is beneficial for both spouses in the sense that it is a way to sever ties to the relationship. In case there is not enough liquidity, the payer may choose to sell their assets, and in turn, the receiver is then responsible for making sound financial decisions to ensure a steady flow of income.

Reestablishing New Agreements

All divorce agreements involving alimony that are final prior to Jan. 1, 2019 are grandfathered in, so they are not affected by the new laws. However, just because divorces prior to 2019 are grandfathered it is important to note that if there are modifications to an established alimony order, attorneys can state that they want to follow the new tax rules versus the old rules.

Thus, the new tax law could affect these new documents in the future.
Because the new law can sharply affect old agreements made under the assumption that alimony payments would remain tax-deductible it is important to seek legal counsel if contemplating a change to an alimony agreement. This change to the deductibility of alimony brings on new terms and issues that will need to be evaluated and agreed upon once again. Any changes to a prior alimony agreement could open up new tax questions.

Adapting

Whether you are new to the alimony process or have been paying alimony for years, and have questions it is important to know what the impact of the law may be. The new tax laws will definitely impact spouses, families, and households across the United States. With December 31, 2018, around the corner there is an urgency of finalizing your divorce before 2019.

For help on this and other legal advice related to divorce and family law call Debora A. Diaz, Esq. at 727-846-1802 or visit www.deboradiazlaw.com.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.